Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Remember to vote YES on Prop 19 next Tuesday!

Proposition 19, also known as the Regulate, Control and Tax Cannabis Act of 2010, is a California ballot proposition which will be on the November 2, 2010 California statewide ballot. It legalizes various marijuana-related activities, allows local governments to regulate these activities, permits local governments to impose and collect marijuana-related fees and taxes, and authorizes various criminal and civil penalties.[1] In March 2010 it qualified to be on the November statewide ballot.[2] It requires a simple majority in order to pass, and would take effect the day after the election.[3] Yes on 19 is the official advocacy group for the initiative.
Proponents[4] of Proposition 19 argue that it would help with California's budget shortfall and redirect law enforcement resources to more dangerous crime, while opponents[5] claim that its gaps and flaws will have serious unintended consequences on public safety, workplaces, and federal funding. As of October 2010, even if the proposition is passed, the sale of marijuana will remain illegal under federal law via the Controlled Substances Act.[6][7][8]

Thursday, October 14, 2010

God Damn you America

Meanwhile  in Europe:

The tossed cannabis that became a canine curiosity

The patient arrived at the Friendship Heights hospital slack-jawed and glassy-eyed.
"He was very twitchy," reports Nicola Moore, the physician who admitted him. "His pupils were dilated. When he walked, he looked . . . " Well, he looked stoned.
The caretaker who accompanied him to the hospital was concerned. Her charge had been completely listless for hours, ever since lunchtime when, as was his custom, he'd gone out to urinate on the lawn.
The patient was Senator, a six-pound, 5-month-old toy poodle. Tox screens confirmed what Moore, a veterinarian at the Friendship Hospital for Animals, had suspected. Senator was on drugs. Marijuana. High as a kite.
What happened: Cynthia Painter, a Chevy Chase housewife who recently relocated from Atlanta, had taken Senator for a walk around her well-appointed building with his best friend, a neighborhood Shih Tzu. Senator picked up what looked like a cigarette butt, which Painter immediately wrested away. "I'm not afraid to stick my hands in there," she confides. "I've had kids."
But the tobacky, it seems, was wacky.
"It's actually pretty frequent," says Ashley Hughes, another veterinarian at the hospital. "Pot, I would say maybe every three months. And medications -- we get a lot of dogs in here for Adderall toxicity." On rare occasions, they'll get a dog on cocaine, or one on crack, or one that drank a whole sea of vodka. (The owner kept it in water bottles around the house.)
That's how it usually happens. The dogs are using because the owners are using. Moore and Hughes could remember few other cases in which a pet had ingested street drugs (which makes sense, if you think about it. You're not going to leave a high-value item like a joint outside on the ground).
"The owners bring them in because they're unsteady, or they look like they're having a seizure," Hughes says. "But really, they're just really high."
Any urban pet owner will tell you that they never fully appreciated the diverse microcosm of the sidewalk until they walked a dog there. "Garbage, pizza rinds, rat poison," says Sarah Bownman, a veterinarian at CityPaws clinic in Northwest Washington, rattling off the more common villains. "People come from [nearby] Meridian Park because their dogs got into human waste."
"Meat products," says Gary Weitzman, CEO of the Washington Animal Rescue League. "One of my dogs is a witching rod for chicken bones."
As for Senator, after a few days of appearing "not quite himself," he is back to normal. In fact, Painter says, "he is spoiled rotten."

My favorite part: "But the tobacky, it seems, was wacky."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How do you deal with bad trips?

Twice, in my history of usage, have I almost encountered a bad trip. Each time I could feel it creeping up on me, but I felt like my subconscious just blocked it out.
The first time was on Friday the 13th. Some friends and I had taken shrooms about 30 minutes before and we were crossing a busy intersection. An elderly dude fell over in the middle of the crosswalk and started screaming for help. It's a Friday night, and people are everywhere, but nobody had the decency to help this man except me and my tripping friends.
There was a point where I thought to myself 'This is going to get bad.' and I could feel the bad thoughts creeping up on me. There were people everywhere and I just KNEW that they could see I was coming up on shrooms. Also, seeing this distressing, tragic situation unfold was quite unsettling.
So, we get this guy off the road and he's complaining about his arm, and hinting at a possible heart attack about to happen. I somehow collect my wits and call 911 (this went against almost every drug user instinct, but I wasn't gonna let this dude die). As I was talking with the dispatcher, one of my friends straight up faints in the middle of this crowd (he let the bad trip get to him, it was a rough rest of the night for him). This is the point where I just started to freak the fuck out, but then I thought to myself 'No, take control of this situation. You're on shrooms, realize that now, but hold yourself together only a little longer. At the very least the trip will be over in a few hours.' Afterwards, I still look on this day as the point where I 'learned' to 'control' my mind.
Next time was with DMT. It was my first time, and after the exhale I immediately see all the crazy visual fractals everywhere and because it hit so hard I thought I was gonna lose my shit completely. Somehow I picked up my lighter, it became my sword, and protected me throughout the trip. I just remember picking up the lighter and thinking 'It's gonna be alright, it's a short drug, make it last!' All was well after that.
Basically, it's all in your head. Bad trips and good trips are all relative. Some people I know don't see the difference, and they will ride it out regardless because they see it as part of that inner, psychedelic exploration.

My friend passed away from an E overdose early this morning

Just a reminder, make sure you get your tabs from a reliable source and be safe. When you put any unknown substance into your cake hole, you risk death. U.S.P drugs and organic based botanicals are the only things that are relatively safe for human consumption. Take heed and mark these words from one who knows exactly of what she speaks of.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Promoting HIV Prevention and risk reduction

For the last two months I have been actively participating in an HIVy 101 course at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. The goals is to educate youth about HIV and how to reduce the likely hood of contracting the virus.

On my way home from todays course I decided to fly a sign and educate anyone that cared to listen while also passing out condoms, lube, and pamphlets. I spent the majority of my day at the Beverly / Vermont metro/bus stop.

Legalization to Regulation

The words we are using in concerns to legalizing marijuana aren't working. Conservatives are latching onto this one word and using it as a means to make people think it will be as easy to buy as a can of soda. People are hearing it and assuming it will give their children more access.
When in reality, we're not trying to legalize marijuana on a full scale. We're trying to regulate it for the adult market, just as we do alcohol and tobacco. I strongly believe if we start using the word "regulate" instead of "legalize", a lot of these unbased claims will start to disappear as it becomes more clear to the average Joe whats going on.

What is your favorite girl scout cookie? Win free cookies!

My favorite were always the Thin Mints in a freezer although I have heard the that Samoas are far superior to Thin Mints. The three C's (caramel, coconut, and chocolate) can't be beat!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hey it is that time of the month . . . Welp for Canadians that is!

Hey what are they doing to that worm? Wait . . . OH GOD NO!!!

Apparently Thanksgiving comes early for those lucky canucks.

 Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day (Canadian French: Jour de l'Action de grĂ¢ce), occurring on the second Monday in October (since 1959), is an annual Canadian holiday to give thanks at the close of the harvest season. Although the original act of Parliament references God and the holiday is celebrated in churches, the holiday is now mostly celebrated in a secular manner.

On January 31, 1957, the Canadian Parliament proclaimed:
A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed … to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October.

So if you did not know this and would like to no more about those crazy friendly Canadians this is the perfect opportunity to check out my favorite Calgarians  Vancourvrians(?) blog (The daily musings of one currently laid off, unemployed mechanics apprentice and his tireless search for workings) at:

Unwanted Compliments

I have recently rejoined the dating world after a self imposed hiatus. One of the things I find bothersome is when a prospective date will comment of my looks before getting to know me. It makes it seem, to me anywas, he is shallow and/or just wants sex. I am talking about comments along the lines of telling me i have nice curves or a nice butt. I can handle them saying i look nice tonight or nonspecific things. I am not comfotable with comments on my looks that most men make and have told them so but they don't listen or apologize and say something along the lines of but you are sexy...

Am I being a total prude or do other women feel similar? How do you deal with it?

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Okay my roommate has been watching a lot of anime lately, and I have had the honor to watch Soul Eater.

I find myself identifying more and more with Crona.

Shopping for bananas :3

Here is me fooling around in West Hollywood. My roommate snapped the pic. What are the craziest stunts you have done in public?

What do you think people will find hysterical/shocking when they review our soceity in 100 years from now?

I hope will be how fat we were, how prevalent police brutality was, and how drugs were once illegal.

Am I the only one?

I constantly feel like this lonely creature among a pack of the uncaring. Constantly ridiculed, questioned, and neglected by the world will it ever get better?

I jumped around colleges a lot before I settled and graduated. All said and done, I ended up with a little over 100,000 in student loan debts, the majority of which is private. Two months before I graduated Sallie Mae (who hold the majority of my debt) stopped all consolidation of private loans due to the economy. Combine that with 2 months of missed credit card payments (2 months and my credit score droped 180 points) and I couldn't find anyone to consolidate my loans even when I was employed full time. I'm living at home, unemployed, scraping by doing freelance web design and development but its just not enough. I've managed to pay half of them so far but the other have are approaching default. I have collectors calling me 14 hours a day 7 days a week. My family is poor and has always been poor so there is no financial support from them outside of a roof over my head. Every day that goes by I can just feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into depression, an issue I've had since I was a  child.
I'm not looking for pity. I signed the papers and I brought this upon myself. I was a stupid kid, but thats not an excuse. I need to take responsibility and fix this myself but I just don't know what to do. It's become harder and harder to motivate myself because I truly feel like I have no hope any longer. I send out applications both for industry jobs and shit jobs and there is just nothing. I just can't deal with this any longer. Honestly the only reason I haven't put a bullet in my head is because some of my loans (the ones I have been paying) have family cosigners and I cannot allow my horrible decisions to affect them. I hate my life and I hate myself for what i've done to it.
Any advice is welcome, be it financial, personal or otherwise.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I am super horny ALL the time!

I have a problem, the problem is I need sex. Ever since I was young I have had an over active sex drive. Weed hits me hard and even though I am normally hypersensitive to touch, it causes me to feel like
I am rolling.

How do you deal with this?

Here is my coping device when no one is available to help me!

What are personality types anyways? Part 1

Well first let's delve into the basics:

We can assess our personalities though the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Personality typing is a tool with many uses. It's especially notable for it's helpfulness in the areas of growth and self-development. Learning and applying the theories of personality type can be a powerful and rewarding experience, if it is used as a tool for discovery, rather than as a method for putting people into boxes, or as an excuse for behavior.

The sixteen personality types which we use in our assessment are based on the well-known research of Carl Jung, Katharine C. Briggs, and Isabel Briggs Myers. Carl Jung first developed the theory that individuals each had a psychological type. He believed that there were two basic kinds of "functions" which humans used in their lives: how we take in information (how we "perceive" things), and how we make decisions. He believed that within these two categories, there were two opposite ways of functioning. We can perceive information via 1) our senses, or 2) our intuition. We can make decisions based on 1) objective logic, or 2) subjective feelings. Jung believed that we all use these four functions in our lives, but that each individual uses the different functions with a varying amount of success and frequency. He believed that we could identify an order of preference for these functions within individuals. The function which someone uses most frequently is their "dominant" function. The dominant function is supported by an auxiliary (2nd) function, tertiary (3rd) function, and inferior (4th) function. He asserted that individuals either "extraverted" or "introverted" their dominant function. He felt that the dominant function was so important, that it overshadowed all of the other functions in terms of defining personality type. Therefore, Jung defined eight personality types:
Extraverted Sensing (modern types: ESFP, ESTP)
Introverted Sensing (modern types: ISTJ, ISFJ)
Extraverted Intuition (modern types: ENFP, ENTP)
Introverted Intuition (modern types: INFJ, INTJ)
Extraverted Thinking (modern types: ESTJ, ENTJ)
Introverted Thinking (modern types: ISTP, INTP)
Extraverted Feeling (modern types: ESFJ, ENFJ)
Introverted Feeling (modern types: INFP, ISFP)

C. G. Jung died in 1961, without ever having presented a systematic summary of his psychology. For the past thirty years his ideas have been explained, explored and amplified by thousands of others, with varying results.

Uses for this information include:
Inter-personal Relationships How can we improve our awareness of another individual's Personality Type, and therefore increase our understanding of their reactions to situations, and know how to best communicate with them on a level which they will understand?

Education How can we develop different teaching methods to effectively educate different types of people?

Counselling How we can help individuals understand themselves better, and become better able to deal with their strengths and weaknesses?

Why start blogging?

I am starting this blog to set myself on the path of self-enlightenment and self-improvement. My life has been filled with a great number of obstacles and although I have not always made the best decisions, I am determined to improve myself. Recently I am taken steps to understand how I think and learn, why I make the same mistakes, and how I can change.

The Jung-Briggs Personality Tests have been a helpful tool to analyze myself, the conclusion is my personality type is INTP

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Profile: INTP

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.

This is just a quick overview- more will come soon!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #8 "woop woop I am high"

So I have been obsessing over what is wrong with myself for the last few weeks.

I see that I should stop trying to look for something that is wrong when there is nothing there.

Alex, a friend that was staying with us recently due to being homeless, was hired for a full-time office job in philly. :3

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #7 "Oh joy"

I have not had a single interview yet, no source of income, missed class due to illness, have court costs, and a hospital bill.


I must not be trying hard enough.

I cannot focus.

I hate me.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #6 "Good Gift"

Negative habitual thoughts are invading my head again. They are difficult to ignore, because they are far more intense.

Anxiety issues.

Janessa's gift ideas:

  • Earrings, hand made
  • Crayon lego blocks
  • stress ball toys
  • ruffle + scarf
  • bag/bp
  • LOL irony buttons
  • beanie
  • clth esq.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #5 "unMOTIVATED"

As you can guess I have been extremely unmotivated as of late. My Music Appreciation class was very interesting and seems promising. Dr. Henderson, my professor, seems to be able to connect with us while avoiding the cliche, boring, monotone professor stereotype that many of my previous teachers were oh so able to fulfill.

My anti-depressant does not seem to be working very effectively  and I am still self-medding with cannabis. Anxiety, stress, and procrastination/apathy plague me.

I am still attempting to join English and Math courses, but most classes are already pretty full.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #4 "Ugh"

I filled out paperwork for food stamps, and had the hottest, most miserable day.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #3 "No Money, No Weed, No Luck"

Dany and I left for the tattoo parlor so he could buy a new nose ring. He plans on doing a salt water extraction since it has been inflamed lately. I bought PJ pants, returned my library books, and forgot to go to the TREP thing.

Also no more monies or weed. ;[

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #2 "The Talk with Doc"

 Dr. Suyat and I discussed my stability, and in the end I was advised to find a psychologist. Participating in todays support group was nice and obviously beneficial. If I continue attending the group, I should be able to learn about the ***** program I will participate in. I went by my bank and was extremely uncomfortable.

Anxiety is manageable as long as I continue to medicate with mj.

The Department of Social Services still has not returned my call or scheduled a return appointment for me, so that means more waiting for food stamps.

I researched car + rental packages for my mothers' visit over Turkey Day.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Pretentious Diary Entry #1 "Do not be a victim."

Tuesday, August 17th

T_T Today I realized I have never accomplished anything of significant value. I am extremely unorganized and only have myself to blame.

Dany mentioned my weight being abnormally low, meaning I should eat more.

Anxiety is still slightly better since I started taking lexapro, but is still impairing.