Pretentious Diary Entry #8 "woop woop I am high"

So I have been obsessing over what is wrong with myself for the last few weeks.

I see that I should stop trying to look for something that is wrong when there is nothing there.

Alex, a friend that was staying with us recently due to being homeless, was hired for a full-time office job in philly. :3

Pretentious Diary Entry #7 "Oh joy"

I have not had a single interview yet, no source of income, missed class due to illness, have court costs, and a hospital bill.

:[

I must not be trying hard enough.

I cannot focus.

I hate me.

Pretentious Diary Entry #6 "Good Gift"

Negative habitual thoughts are invading my head again. They are difficult to ignore, because they are far more intense.


Anxiety issues.


Janessa's gift ideas:

• Earrings, hand made
• Crayon lego blocks
• stress ball toys
• ruffle + scarf
• bag/bp
• LOL irony buttons
• beanie
• clth esq.

Pretentious Diary Entry #5 "unMOTIVATED"

As you can guess I have been extremely unmotivated as of late. My Music Appreciation class was very interesting and seems promising. Dr. Henderson, my professor, seems to be able to connect with us while avoiding the cliche, boring, monotone professor stereotype that many of my previous teachers were oh so able to fulfill.

My anti-depressant does not seem to be working very effectively  and I am still self-medding with cannabis. Anxiety, stress, and procrastination/apathy plague me.

I am still attempting to join English and Math courses, but most classes are already pretty full.

Pretentious Diary Entry #4 "Ugh"

I filled out paperwork for food stamps, and had the hottest, most miserable day.

Pretentious Diary Entry #3 "No Money, No Weed, No Luck"

Dany and I left for the tattoo parlor so he could buy a new nose ring. He plans on doing a salt water extraction since it has been inflamed lately. I bought PJ pants, returned my library books, and forgot to go to the TREP thing.

Also no more monies or weed. ;[

Pretentious Diary Entry #2 "The Talk with Doc"

 Dr. Suyat and I discussed my stability, and in the end I was advised to find a psychologist. Participating in todays support group was nice and obviously beneficial. If I continue attending the group, I should be able to learn about the ***** program I will participate in. I went by my bank and was extremely uncomfortable.

Anxiety is manageable as long as I continue to medicate with mj.

The Department of Social Services still has not returned my call or scheduled a return appointment for me, so that means more waiting for food stamps.

I researched car + rental packages for my mothers' visit over Turkey Day.

Pretentious Diary Entry #1 "Do not be a victim."

Tuesday, August 17th


T_T Today I realized I have never accomplished anything of significant value. I am extremely unorganized and only have myself to blame.


Dany mentioned my weight being abnormally low, meaning I should eat more.


Anxiety is still slightly better since I started taking lexapro, but is still impairing. 


-Stupid