What do you think people will find hysterical/shocking when they review our soceity in 100 years from now?

I hope will be how fat we were, how prevalent police brutality was, and how drugs were once illegal.

Am I the only one?

I constantly feel like this lonely creature among a pack of the uncaring. Constantly ridiculed, questioned, and neglected by the world will it ever get better?


I jumped around colleges a lot before I settled and graduated. All said and done, I ended up with a little over 100,000 in student loan debts, the majority of which is private. Two months before I graduated Sallie Mae (who hold the majority of my debt) stopped all consolidation of private loans due to the economy. Combine that with 2 months of missed credit card payments (2 months and my credit score droped 180 points) and I couldn't find anyone to consolidate my loans even when I was employed full time. I'm living at home, unemployed, scraping by doing freelance web design and development but its just not enough. I've managed to pay half of them so far but the other have are approaching default. I have collectors calling me 14 hours a day 7 days a week. My family is poor and has always been poor so there is no financial support from them outside of a roof over my head. Every day that goes by I can just feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into depression, an issue I've had since I was a  child.
I'm not looking for pity. I signed the papers and I brought this upon myself. I was a stupid kid, but thats not an excuse. I need to take responsibility and fix this myself but I just don't know what to do. It's become harder and harder to motivate myself because I truly feel like I have no hope any longer. I send out applications both for industry jobs and shit jobs and there is just nothing. I just can't deal with this any longer. Honestly the only reason I haven't put a bullet in my head is because some of my loans (the ones I have been paying) have family cosigners and I cannot allow my horrible decisions to affect them. I hate my life and I hate myself for what i've done to it.
Any advice is welcome, be it financial, personal or otherwise.

I am super horny ALL the time!

I have a problem, the problem is I need sex. Ever since I was young I have had an over active sex drive. Weed hits me hard and even though I am normally hypersensitive to touch, it causes me to feel like
I am rolling.

How do you deal with this?

Here is my coping device when no one is available to help me!

What are personality types anyways? Part 1

Well first let's delve into the basics:

We can assess our personalities though the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Personality typing is a tool with many uses. It's especially notable for it's helpfulness in the areas of growth and self-development. Learning and applying the theories of personality type can be a powerful and rewarding experience, if it is used as a tool for discovery, rather than as a method for putting people into boxes, or as an excuse for behavior.

The sixteen personality types which we use in our assessment are based on the well-known research of Carl Jung, Katharine C. Briggs, and Isabel Briggs Myers. Carl Jung first developed the theory that individuals each had a psychological type. He believed that there were two basic kinds of "functions" which humans used in their lives: how we take in information (how we "perceive" things), and how we make decisions. He believed that within these two categories, there were two opposite ways of functioning. We can perceive information via 1) our senses, or 2) our intuition. We can make decisions based on 1) objective logic, or 2) subjective feelings. Jung believed that we all use these four functions in our lives, but that each individual uses the different functions with a varying amount of success and frequency. He believed that we could identify an order of preference for these functions within individuals. The function which someone uses most frequently is their "dominant" function. The dominant function is supported by an auxiliary (2nd) function, tertiary (3rd) function, and inferior (4th) function. He asserted that individuals either "extraverted" or "introverted" their dominant function. He felt that the dominant function was so important, that it overshadowed all of the other functions in terms of defining personality type. Therefore, Jung defined eight personality types:
Extraverted Sensing (modern types: ESFP, ESTP)
Introverted Sensing (modern types: ISTJ, ISFJ)
Extraverted Intuition (modern types: ENFP, ENTP)
Introverted Intuition (modern types: INFJ, INTJ)
Extraverted Thinking (modern types: ESTJ, ENTJ)
Introverted Thinking (modern types: ISTP, INTP)
Extraverted Feeling (modern types: ESFJ, ENFJ)
Introverted Feeling (modern types: INFP, ISFP)

C. G. Jung died in 1961, without ever having presented a systematic summary of his psychology. For the past thirty years his ideas have been explained, explored and amplified by thousands of others, with varying results.

Uses for this information include:

Inter-personal Relationships How can we improve our awareness of another individual's Personality Type, and therefore increase our understanding of their reactions to situations, and know how to best communicate with them on a level which they will understand?

Education How can we develop different teaching methods to effectively educate different types of people?

Counselling How we can help individuals understand themselves better, and become better able to deal with their strengths and weaknesses?

Why start blogging?

I am starting this blog to set myself on the path of self-enlightenment and self-improvement. My life has been filled with a great number of obstacles and although I have not always made the best decisions, I am determined to improve myself. Recently I am taken steps to understand how I think and learn, why I make the same mistakes, and how I can change.

The Jung-Briggs Personality Tests have been a helpful tool to analyze myself, the conclusion is my personality type is INTP

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving


Profile: INTP

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INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.


This is just a quick overview- more will come soon!

Pretentious Diary Entry #8 "woop woop I am high"

So I have been obsessing over what is wrong with myself for the last few weeks.

I see that I should stop trying to look for something that is wrong when there is nothing there.

Alex, a friend that was staying with us recently due to being homeless, was hired for a full-time office job in philly. :3

Pretentious Diary Entry #7 "Oh joy"

I have not had a single interview yet, no source of income, missed class due to illness, have court costs, and a hospital bill.

:[

I must not be trying hard enough.

I cannot focus.

I hate me.

Pretentious Diary Entry #6 "Good Gift"

Negative habitual thoughts are invading my head again. They are difficult to ignore, because they are far more intense.


Anxiety issues.


Janessa's gift ideas:

• Earrings, hand made
• Crayon lego blocks
• stress ball toys
• ruffle + scarf
• bag/bp
• LOL irony buttons
• beanie
• clth esq.

Pretentious Diary Entry #5 "unMOTIVATED"

As you can guess I have been extremely unmotivated as of late. My Music Appreciation class was very interesting and seems promising. Dr. Henderson, my professor, seems to be able to connect with us while avoiding the cliche, boring, monotone professor stereotype that many of my previous teachers were oh so able to fulfill.

My anti-depressant does not seem to be working very effectively  and I am still self-medding with cannabis. Anxiety, stress, and procrastination/apathy plague me.

I am still attempting to join English and Math courses, but most classes are already pretty full.